As we drove back from a relative's place last night, I noticed a bus stand on the road. I asked my sister, "This wasn't here before, right?" And she replied, "It's always been there."
I began to think, I've passed through that road a million times, and yet I never noticed the bus stand which, apparently, has always been there. It's silly how we become so oblivious in our routine lives that we stop noticing new, undiscovered things, even on the same old road.
I remember when I used to go for coaching classes on my bicycle in 9th and 10th grade, I used to notice at least one new thing each day on the same route. Maybe a new poster, a house, a chai ki tapri, a tree that's been there since even before I was born. I used to love riding my bicycle. It made me feel a sense of freedom and abundance in those 10 minutes I rode from home to class and vice versa. I used to cherish those 10 minutes I spent with myself and my bicycle and looked forward to that part of the day because otherwise all I used to do was solve trigonometry and mug up chemical reactions. I could find little pockets of joy and freedom in my jam-packed schedule of studying.
Cut to now, three years later. I have unconsciously left that ability in some corner of my mind where it's looking at me and saying, "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU DUMB WOMAN?"
I don't know, I didn't do it intentionally, obviously. In fact, I have no idea when it faded away. But if I try and rationalize it, I think it was when I started believing that nothing in this stupid life of mine is ever going to be fine. My life needs repairing which no one can give it. Yes, I agree, the world is now a darker place with sad stories and victimised souls. But that doesn't mean that we should stop looking for tiny bits of things that make us feel, maybe not better, but at least a little different than the usual.
I like to think of the world as a night garden where the stuff that will keep your heart beating and your breath flowing are fireflies in the garden. They are shining at you, for you, to notice them so that you know that life in the world is going to keep blinking. It'll glow and then it'll fade out, but always remember, it does glow before it fades!
- Vagisha Jha
BA (H) Philosophy
(Edited by Guniya and Pallavi
Art curated by Pallavi)
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