Artwork: Despair (2015) by Igor Shulman
Have you ever looked at yourself and felt angry because of the pain others put you through? As if it's all somehow your fault? Have you clawed your fingers around your neck so deep, just so you'd run out of breath and lose sight of what you truly feel? Do you ever just lose a sense of what's happening around you, just stop doing what you were doing, and hear the ringing of those thoughts, a memory you cannot let go of? A memory clutching onto you like a strand of hair to a wet hand? You want to push it away, you truly do, but you know that the more you push it away, the more it clings onto you. I wish there was a way of letting go of that memory ringing in my ear, deafening all my other senses, muting all the others speaking around me. It's like a little voice whispering in my ear, that I'd never be good enough, never be the missing part to a puzzle, rather an incomplete puzzle myself. I wish there was a way to just scream this feeling away, to just cry these thoughts away, to just claw my way out from this labyrinth of thoughts that torment my heart. I cannot write anymore, for my hands itch to be around my throat now and choke these thoughts out of me; at least that's what I'd like to believe.
Stuti Dhar Chowdhury
Second Year
B.A. (H) English
Edited by Ayishah Wafiya Midath and Shreya Jathavedan
Art curated by Nivedita S
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